I haven’t washed my hair. It’s kinda dirty. I’ll probably wash it today. I’m feeling restless and sick, and sad. Things seem so difficult sometimes. I wish things were just like on television: “call 555 now and turn your life around! Become rich and fabulous! Nevermind your problems, they’ll be gone! Call now!”

But that’s not the way life goes. And people are very dramatic indeed. I try not to be. I hate drama in real life. All I wanted is to smile again. And sleep again. Have proper sleep.

But I keep having these dreams, these weird scary dreams. Tonight someone cut my throat. A woman. I don’t know who she was nor why she wanted to kill me. I bled but I didn’t die. Then my boyfriend and 2 other men, also unknown, grabbed big knives and one of them slashed the woman’s throat and she asked why. I said: because you did the same to me. But she died.

Oh God do I feel sick.

I wish I could go home and spend the whole day in bed. But I can’t. Something nice could happen today. For a change.